I Tried Catfishing for 90 Days

The results were shocking

Photo by Justin Snyder Photo on Unsplash

Last summer during the height of the pandemic I decided to explore the underbelly of Instagram. I figured while most people were sitting at home watching TikTok videos and trying to decide on getting a Pelaton, I would try something a little more nuanced and entertaining:

Catfishing.

According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary catfishing is known as impersonating someone, usually through social media in the hopes of gaining information. That’s a far cry from the days of Myspace where it was pretty much a given that anyone, including your cat, was probably spying on you and creating a fake profile to spoof you and play around.

These days, catfishing isn’t anything surprising or even that titillating. I mean, pretty much everyone does it at least once in their life, right?

I decided to embark on this journey mainly because I was bored and needed a good laugh. I also had a crush on a certain somebody at the time, and I wanted to see if their behaviors were different from the real vs fake social media world that we often portray. Another part of me was testing the waters of going in-depth concerning the psychology behind likes, followers, and all things social media. It turns out that being social on social media isn’t even a thing. It’s a far cry from it, which I will go into later.

I decided to put my catfishing skills to work and within a few hours, I was signed up on Instagram with a fake profile in tow. Like normal “catfishers” do, I chose someone who was not in my circle of friends. The person I chose was a million miles away and was very attractive. The person who I catfished was not someone I knew. This made it more exciting and plausible. I know some people may think that using your best friend’s or family member’s photos on their Facebook profile makes it easier, and maybe more entertaining but I found it to be in bad taste. In a way, by using someone I didn’t know as the would-be victim I placed myself squarely in their domain and was able to honestly get a better perspective from that person just by their image.

Strange, isn’t it?

I had no idea who this girl was or if she even cared that I put up photos of her on Instagram and changed her name. It all goes to say that catfishing is more of an art than a science. Although most catfishers do it as a way for fraudulent behavior, this was my way of exercising my freedom and social experimentation with no intent to harm anyone.

When I had created the profile and put a bunch of photos with captions on them I proceeded to request other users. Some girls would have their profile showing while others didn’t. This got me thinking- if the whole point of social media is to be social and talk to other people, then why are we hiding our profiles and curating our posts? It seems to me that social media is anything but about befriending people, getting to know them, and having any depth. It wreaks shallowness if you ask me.

By the time I had forged a new profile, posted photos, and followed nearly hundreds of users I thought I was set to be the greatest catfisher of all time.

It turned out that I bit on more than I could chew.

Let me say this- the world of catfishing is a very daunting task. One may find themselves wrapped up in the lives of their victim. I sure did. I followed all kinds of girls:

• the cheerleader
• the wannabe gangster
• the “Instagram model”
• the emo girl who always posts her favorite song in a story
• the bikini beach girl
• the preggo always showing her OOTD
• the girl who always posts a coffee pic with a heart GIF around it
• the nerdy girl who is always posting selfies with vintage filters
• the dog mom
• the drunk EDM girl with a beanie on
• the horse girl
• the up and coming OnlyFans girl

and last but not least-

• the travel to every exotic place girl.

What I found was startling.

At first glance, I couldn’t quite make out what it was. But after following so many girls from various backgrounds, it appeared to me that most of these girls on social media just didn’t even care about their followers, nor the fact that I was catfishing them. Now, that shouldn’t even come as a surprise, given the fact that most social media isn’t about actually talking to people.

Nowadays, social media is often blamed as a mindless waste of time, often plagued with dopamine bursts in the form of likes and followers, excessive third-party advertising, and one-way communication or “ghosting” that makes snail mail seem fun again.

Remember pen pals?

Truth be told, I found out a little more about society and women in general just by catfishing alone.

I will not go all into the details but instead, break it down for you as if I were an alien from another planet trying to understand the human race. Particularly women.

Here’s a birds-eye view:

I would never want to be a woman

Let’s face it. Women have it hard these days. They have a lot on their plate. More so with social media. But of all the women that I found on Instagram through catfishing, not one of them had any appeal for me to say to myself: “wow, your life is just plain awesome”. In fact, most of the profiles I encountered were curated posts that just screamed of shallowness and inauthenticity. My purpose in catfishing became something entirely different once I saw the mediocre lives that most of these girls on there were portraying.

Post after post of bland curated content, made me want to gauge my eyes out with a toothpick and vomit all over my smartphone.

I would run into posts of girls sharing stories of their mediocre lives while simultaneously posting about how to do the best HIIT training while putting makeup on. Other posts were about their dogs acting silly on the couch while they would take unflattering photos of their husbands drinking whiskey.

Some posts I would find would be socially barbaric if posted in the 18th century- stories of well-to-do people doing shots on a rooftop and yelling at complete random strangers below. One girl I followed was an emo girl who always did a live story of her smoking blunts with her emo comrades in her black-light infested room. I remember cracking jokes the whole time during the Instagram live story and they seemed oblivious to anything. I asked myself: what is the point of all this if you don’t even respond to questions and comments?

Some of the posts would just be so randomly bizarre and cringeworthy.

College girls dressed like hookers doing TikTok twerks. Milfs with ass crack photos of themselves showing no face trying to pump up their OnlyFans account while their “husband” took the photos. Girls with ugly Snapchat filters for every post. Sorority girls with bikini ass shots posing like they are the next Kathy Ireland. Overdone mirror selfies with said ugly Snapchat filters. More ass cracks. More filters. More sorority girls in their underwear. Food shots ( mostly of coffee).

And the list goes on.

Of all the ways women try to get attention, it’s very astonishing. It’s also very bland and redundant.

I doubt any of the girls actually communicated

Like I said above, social media isn’t about meeting people and getting to know them. It’s just a facade. Most people are on there to get likes so they can fill their dopamine coffers. Another like sends your brain into euphoric bliss. Another follower initiates a quick dopamine rush. I can see why most girls crave the attention- selling their bodies and souls- while catering to a world already filled with low self-esteem and inauthenticity. It doesn’t even matter if you know the person you follow. What matters in social media is a following. More followers mean more dopamine hits.

It was strange for one that I was catfishing. But even more strange that when I sought to talk to a girl, I was left with a blank page of nothingness. I think people have a hard time with trust these days. Especially online. I thought that posing as a girl would be easier to talk to another completely random girl. Most of the time it wasn’t. I found this strange as well.

I doubt most of those girls even DM’d half their friends. Their stories were most likely the direct result of their bargaining power for more likes. This is especially true of the wannabe OnlyFans girls and bikini beach types.

I think there is a double standard when it comes to men

I found it fascinating that I was posing as a woman pretending to get likes and follow along to the beat of other people’s drum- all while faking it.

Little did they know that I was a man hiding behind the face of a woman. They couldn’t see me, hear me, or even believe that I was someone other than the person I was claiming to be.

And that’s a hard truth.

For in the very thing that I desired, I found a knowledge that was dark and tainted- the world of women.

Most women ignored messages. Most girls only wanted likes and followers. Most of the time, if any of the time, they were on there “just for fun”. They demanded that you stay away from them. Yet in the real world, they demand that men get along just fine if it fit in the confines of their double standard.

Women can be harsh. Especially to other women. This is the truth. But when it comes to men we often say:

“Men need to do this. Men need to do that.”

But, wait while I go become someone else online, then get back to me. In a nutshell, that’s what I pretty much found when catfishing.

What I learned about myself though was this: I was hiding behind a mask. I wasn’t being authentic with myself. If I had just reached out to those same girls with my real Instagram profile and DM’d- I wonder what the response rate would be. Would it be authentic? Would it entice people to get to know me more? Would it cause more social drama?

There is no telling.

But I assure you that the way things have been, are meant to be. There is no going back to the days of Myspace when people actually talked and communicated in a way that was palpable and real.

I’m not sure where social media is going. One day I’m hoping that people, not just women, will wake up. I’m hoping they will set aside their fears and inauthenticity for truly natural and authentic communication that cuts the cords on any fake online behavior. I think if anything, it is setting us up for failure. It is paving the way for algorithms to justify blocking certain people because they aren’t popular by social media standards. I believe it’s also setting up the future for artificial intelligence to replace human social interaction. What that looks like, I don’t know yet.

But it could be scary.

The future of catfishing will never be the same.